I Never Got That Memo

When did it become socially acceptable to walk up to somebody that you have never spoken to before and grab their arm to examine it? I definitely never got the memo.

 Over the Christmas holidays, I went out in my home city; St Albans. Most people there are vile, posh creatures who have been so protected by their parents that they are utterly shocked by any sort of mildly alternative culture. On re-entering O’Neills bar from my short cigarette break, whisky in hand, a girl from my secondary school approached me. I was immediately offended by the way she stared at me. Then she started talking, and never stopped. After the typically awkward catch up chit-chat where you really don’t care what the other person has to say, she began to talk about (what she called) the holes in my ears. Ear stretching isn’t particularly uncommon. She was absolutely fascinated, but in the rudest possible way. After a few minutes of talking to her, I realised that she had probably never left the city before, she was completely naive, sheltered and just plain stupid. She then noticed the tattoos on my fingers. I knew I was doomed to an eternity of her questioning me. She asked me to show her my other ones, and l, under the influence of alcohol, removed by jacket. Her and her two friends who seemed to have appeared from nowhere grabbed my arms, two of them on one, one on the other. I was appalled, but at the same time, too polite to do much. The ridiculous questions followed;
“When you are old what are you going to do?” She asked.
“I’m going to drink tea and cuddle my cats, what about you?” I responded. She laughed but didn’t even understand.
“Did they hurt?”, Again, I gave a stupid response.
“No they jab a needle into your skin hundreds of times a second but it just tickles and they give you a lolly pop.” This time she laughed nervously. I didn’t want to continue the conversation; I just waited in awkward silence for another ridiculous question. I think the only thing I will ever regret about getting tattoos is how people react to them. When I say people, I don’t mean future employers, police officers or any people of relevance. I mean random people I see in the street or while I’m at work or people I bump into after years of not speaking to them. They say things such as 'You have so many tattoos, how are you going to get a job?' and I just think…. FUCK YOU.

 I didn’t wake up 2 weeks ago and walk into a tattoo studio without a single thought and spend hundreds of pounds on all this. I’ve been doing this for a while and I’ve very carefully thought about what career path I want to take and I honestly do not want to work for anybody who discriminates against tattoos or self expression. I would rather cut off my own arms that work in a constricted, conforming job where I am told what I should look like.

What is most annoying about the people who say these things to me is; who are they to even ask me? They aren’t asking because they care about me. They are asking because they are damn right rude and nosey.